i got up early enough to see the sun rise on my way to work. i tried to remind the dawn that she is welcome despite all the times i’ve slept through her rise in favor of the night. i tell her i’m sorry as i get distracted by my thoughts.
artificial love is easily created but not so much destroyed, and i’m no closer to filling the expansive void that’s plagued me since i was a teen. i tell dawn i was wrong and blinded and i spent a lot of years looking in all the wrong places for a fix for the emptiness i didn’t understand. i admit that i managed to maintain, but it was never her light that i needed. it was never her that was the piece i was missing.
i no longer look for something to jump start the life in me. i don’t make promises to myself to change. i am what i am. i try to wear my small victories like medals, but i no longer try to fill the hollow with meaning.
ghost
It was too cloudy for me to see the sun rise this morning, though I was awake, and out and about, at the time that it rose.